So, I haven’t written anything in nearly two months, since that faithful, Total-Recall-reference-titled entry summing up my mood two weeks from my return to the United States.
I’ll sum up what’s happened since then fairly quickly. I have returned to the United States. Much to my pleasure, my mood has not crumbled. I came back home, yet somehow avoided returning to the anxiety and general funk that has permeated my life for some years. Admittedly it was getting a bit better before I went, but I can’t help but credit my experiences in Australia with some of the good feelings.
But, I have to draw a sharp line here. Australia is old news. The new news is… Well, it’s a laundry list of observations and silliness. Of course.
A year ago today, I was toying with the idea of creating this site as a sounding board, a posting place for my fiction, my music, and my thoughts. The only one that really came out all that well was the thoughts. But I’m still pleased with it. It’s a good outlet, and tends to use more complete sentences than many blogs, for which I hope to be lauded and raised on high by the people. Not that people will care.
An example of how poor internet grammar has infiltrated our lives: I was just doing a crossword puzzle. Not an online one, a proper one in a newspaper. Anyways, I’m working my way through it and having a bit of trouble with the last across. The clue was “dismissive on-line sign off.” I completed the downs and nearly vomited at the horror of it. The answer? “KTHXBYE.” Lolcat-isms invading the pasttimes of a largely idle intellectual quasi-elite? I won’t stand for it!
(I actually don’t really care, but punditry requires a bit of, you know, zazz. Gotta zazz it up.)
Another thing that has struck me since returning to America is how pervasive erectile dysfunction medication advertising is. Apparently the TV gods have decided that the target audiences of BBC America, Mixed Martial Arts, and Food Network (basically the only things I tend to watch) are all in need of a mouthful of boner pills. Now, while I recognize these commercials have been around since Bob Dole first stole our ability to sleep at the Superbowl 10 years ago, I also believe that they are getting more ridiculous. Not in showing how they improve people’s lives, that’s not what I mean. I mean the disclaimer at the end informing potential Viagra users that they should consult with their doctor to see if they are, in fact, “healthy enough to have sex.”
It seems to me to make a very basic evolutionary sense that if there’s even a chance that you aren’t, you shouldn’t be introducing yourself into the breeding pool.
There is the chance that there are legions of thrill-seeking denture-whistlers craving to go out mid-coitus. These suicidal would-be fornicators would find Viagra and the other various and sundry erectile medications a Godsend. Can’t believe I just wrote that sentence. I’m sorry, God.
To change topics completely, one of my main concerns in renewing the eLease on this site was that I wouldn’t have enough to write about. My social commentary skills tend to degrade when I lack my once-driving force of grumpiness. And I have nothing to be grumpy about. At all. I could use a job, but I seem to have acquired this unique combination of a work ethic and patience, so I don’t really have anything to worry about. I’m doing what I can, and someone will respond to me once my immense greatness becomes obvious.
I can only pray they don’t find this receptacle of dick-jokes before calling me.
That’s all for now. Happy 2010, folks. May it be as good to you as it has been to me thus far.
RJC
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