I likely need to get on here and rant and rave more often, but the fact is that I’ve just been keeping busy. Staying out of trouble. Keeping myself off the streets, as it were.
However, in the past couple of days, I have seen some things that seem to be worth commenting on, so here goes. Come to the shiny metal bowl and get your scraps, internet puppies.
1) Snow-maggeddon/Snow-pocalypse: While I understand that Washington DC, Philadelphia, and hell, that whole thing nobody really cares about called New Jersey are basically buried under snow, I fail to see why New England shat its collective pants when faced with a Nor’easter. These things are run of the mill here. It’s February, snow’s going to happen. But no, we had 24 hours news coverage, up-to-the-second weather forecasts with live reporters standing on street corners, red-faced in their synthetic parkas. I went to the supermarket Tuesday evening to pick up bananas and protein shakes (more on that later, perhaps), and saw people “stocking up.”
Apparently stocking up means that you go to the store because there’s a panic about potential food shortages (which is bullshit), but then instead of buying sensible things like bread, milk, flour, rice, etc… You just buy shit that is only “food” by virtue of the fact that it’s sold in a grocery store. The guy ahead of me in line? Haagen Dazs AND ice cream sandwiches. Somehow I feel like that’s a poor choice for a snowstorm, should the power go out. Although at least you know it wouldn’t melt. The woman in the next aisle over had a cartful of junk: the makings of S’mores, tater tots, and I think I may even have seen the unpleasant stripes of that-thing-that’s-peanut-butter-and-jelly-in-one-jar.
The point is, the hysteria created by local weathermen apparently convinced these people to go out and spend $100+ mid-week on useless groceries. This leads me to one inevitable conclusion, which is that local weathermen are the largest shareholders in grocery stores, or are getting some form of kickback from said grocery stores in order to freak out about snow.
Don’t get me wrong, the roads were unpleasant yesterday, but even if there had been the 15-20” forecast, it’s not really as though it would kill anyone to say, skip a day of work, or stay home and eat the food they had already purchased. But that’s not what people want. They want excuses. They want a reason to purchase two things, both of which are ice cream. They want a reason to make S’mores while not camping, a reason to eat tater tots, and a reason to be lazy and sit in front of the TV and eat largely-synthetic food-like products. God help us if there actually ever IS a disaster here in New England. Everyone will be shooting heroin into their genitals and eating Weatherman Brand™ LARD-N-SUGAR (NOW WITH MORE NITRATES!)
2) I have, in the past month, engaged on the most reasonable yet surprising endeavor of bettering myself physically. That is, I go to the gym daily and you know, pretend to be a hamster on a giant wheel. Running imaginary miles aside, it gives me a sense of accomplishment, a boost in self-esteem, and that ever-needed “something to do today.” On the (probably) negative side, it has caused me to do such questionable things as wear a spandex shirt in public, and come to think of myself as attractive. The other issue, which I don’t see as a negative but is somewhat difficult, is as follows.
Not being employed right now (which is a whole other set of rants that I could easily go on but choose not to), I don’t do a lot during the day. I apply to jobs, do crossword puzzles, work out, and play the guitar. That’s about it. That way I can hopefully keep my professional, mental, physical, and creative lives active. It’s a fine system. The big problem is when other people come into it. I have very little to talk about, outside of… how frustrating the job hunt is, how I just did a crossword puzzle (doesn’t thrill anyone, believe me), or the gym. The gym is the one area in which I’m seeing progress, which means that odds are, if I have to talk about something positive, it has to do with how many minutes I successfully punished myself for—The punishment of course being for the youthful indiscretions that led to my former fatness—or how great a weight I was able to repeatedly lift in what is arguably a completely unnatural motion.
I feel like I’m in danger of becoming one of those guys. You know the ones. The ones who work out all the time and don’t have anything to discuss except lifting technique and buttock definition. But for me, it isn’t because I’m obsessed with it, it’s a dearth of other topics. I find it difficult to tell people things like “Yes, I applied to 4 jobs today. I don’t really remember what they were because I’ve been doing this for a month and a half and they’re all starting to bleed together.” When I can just be a bit more positive and say things like “I ran 3 miles in 20 minutes and my heartbeat didn’t even go above 150!” Despite the fact that I’m left with the sense that I am, in terms of being interesting, an enormous disappointment.
Ah well. I’m sure at some point someone will hire me. And if they won’t, then I’ll just do the logical thing and get a job working at a gym. Wait… is this how people end up doing that?
3) Google and Facebook conspire to make my life more-invaded, less-communicative. Facebook recently updated their interface so that you can get even more advertising crammed into your eyes. I don’t really have a serious problem with that, other than the fact that I only really use it as a communication tool, and frankly, mostly for posting stupid things like articles about ducks having bizarre genitalia, or this. It’s become so entrenched in my life (given my distance from most people and the fact that I spend most days on a computer) that no matter how grumpy I may become about it, I can’t give it up. I need that connection, one-sided as it may be. Because, frankly, people don’t make active connections anymore. At least not most of them. I have maybe 5-6 people I feel really genuinely connected to in my life, but that doesn’t mean I stop giving a crap about the other ones. Facebook and social media (or whatever the term of the week is) allow for a sort of… proxy-connection. Something like “I’ll log what I’m doing on here, and you come look at it whenever you get a chance. Oh, and do try to make a pithy comment, won’t you?”
Well, I do pith it up, on occasion, but the interface is now standing in my way. Because I now have to dodge pickles having more fans that *INSERT THING IT’S COOL TO HATE HERE, THANKS* or a comment someone left on their grandmother’s photo, or the simple fact that someone I barely know anymore “likes” the post of someone I literally don’t know.
All I want is the plain old fashioned status update thingie. Where I can be like “Hey, I’m a dickhead, joke joke etc” and then my friends can be like “Yep.”
Is that too much to ask for?
In a related topic, Google unveiled some shit no one knew they were working on and nobody likes. Google buzz is yet another way for every piece of information your friends, business associates, and slight acquaintances put on the internet to be mercilessly crammed down your throat by Google’s shiny chrome fist.
Coming from my somewhat dorky background in IRC and PHPBB messageboards, I’m actually okay with it, provided I can pick and choose what to view. But I was quite upset at the fact that I was receiving an email every time someone posted something related to me or commented on something I had written. It reminds me of how on messageboards, you used to be able to click that “email me when someone replies to this thread”… AND NO ONE EVER CLICKED IT EVER. Because it’s horribly annoying.
To sum up: I have become counterdependent towards the internet. I rely on it for communication, social life, and escape. Yet I absolutely hate it when it forces itself upon me, or insists upon itself. I am, like so many other internet users, a whiny bastard.
That’s all I got for now. Comment at will, and for God’s sake get to the store, it might snow. Oh, and happy birthday to my brother, James, who is 32 today. I look forward to getting all drunk about it at some point soon.
RJC
